Starting a family later in life certainly isn’t for everyone, especially for a first time Mom. It will totally turn your life around from the years of the “adult lifestyle” that you’ve gotten used to. But, for some of us, it’s one of the best things we’ve ever done.
The below may not apply to you, but they apply to most of the people that I know in my age category – barring any tragic situations.
Please understand that this article is not, in any way, saying that you should wait until your 40s to have a child if you don’t want to! There are definitely challenges that are age related that come with having a baby later in life. This writ is merely to show that there are some great perks!
You Have More Financial Stability
By the time you’ve reached this later point in life, you’ve usually settled on a career and are more financially stable. You’ve decided on “what you’re going to be when you grow up” and whether it’s your first choice or not, you’ve settled into it.
Likely, you are making far more money than what you were in your 20s. While the extra funds aren’t a requirement to be a good parent, they definitely allow you the extra luxuries that help you experience your Mom-journey to the fullest. Not only are you able to decorate your nursery the way you want to, but you probably have the financial freedom and position to take extra time off to spend precious time with your baby. You may even be able to stop working and be a stay at home mom, which may not have been an option 20 years ago.
In a bigger scope, you’re also in a financial position to take the type of vacations that you want to spend with your family. I never would have been able to take Bug to places like Disney if I’d had him 15 years ago.
Other Goals of Stability Have Already Been Met
Most likely, at this stage in your life, you are in a comfortable home in a safe neighborhood and in an area where you are comfortable. You are in long term housing, and maybe even own your own home. You are likely past the days of taking the cheapest apartment that you can find and living a transient life where you move every time the lease is up. You’re able to make a safe little nest for your baby in this home.
In addition, unlike the “younger you” who was just starting out on their own, you aren’t as weighed down by the drive to obtain the object-oriented necessities of life, like furniture and a car, because you already have them. This gives you the ability to focus more on the joy or your child.
You’ve Sown Your Wild Oats
For some of us, the oats we sowed were not so wild, but the days where we yearned for the freedoms that adulthood brought have been satiated. For some, that was partying college days. For others, it was merely the freedom to find ourselves without responsibility. Either way, most of us are over it and are less self-oriented than when we were younger. You know that, even though you will still want to go out on the occasional date (friends or spouse), you don’t need to be out every night until 3 am and be in constant need of a babysitter.
You are More Patient
I’m not saying you never lose your cool. But, chances are, your youthful temper and flair for drama have cooled and you’re less likely to fly off the handle over the little things. While you still get angry and will have to learn to bend in your established routines, you also have achieved a degree of wisdom that tells you that many things just aren’t worth raising your blood pressure over. This gives you more clarity when dealing with issues as they arise that may help you to a more productive end where you “don’t sweat the small stuff.”
You Realize What Matters
As we get older, our priorities shift from impressing other people and “getting ahead” to deeper, more lasting priorities, like relationships. We are more concerned with making memories, imparting knowledge, teaching values, and creating lasting bonds. Since you’ve likely planned (or are planning) this pregnancy, you aren’t seeing this as an inconvenience, but the joyful gift that it truly is.
You also probably have developed a religious life that you are more active in, which can provide a rich spiritual life for your child and an important part of parenthood.
You Are More Wise
You’ve gained a lot of knowledge in 40 years that can only be gained by experience, and that’s a wonderful gift that you can give your child. You’ve learned many things that can help your precious little one on their path through life. This also relates back to all of the above. With patience, stability, peacefulness, wisdom, and values, you are more armed to be a wonderful parent.