Pregnant Over 40 – Making a Strategy

It’s important to address the issues that may be challenges for you outside of your age.

Here are some examples of things you should ask yourself that could potentially help or hurt your goals of becoming pregnant. I also have a more comprehensive and printable worksheet here:

  1. Am I overweight or underweight?
  2. How healthy is my diet?
  3. Am I taking any vitamin supplements?
  4. Are there any bad habits that I or my spouse should stop doing, like smoking, drugs, or excessive alcohol?
  5. Am I taking any medications that decrease my sex drive?
  6. Am I taking any medications that could cause birth defects? Is my partner? (Some prescriptions a pregnant woman shouldn’t even touch, because the chemicals can go through skin).
  7. How much exercise do I get?
  8. Do I have other known health issues?
  9. Do I have any sexually transmitted diseases?
  10. Are there any health issues of the perspective father?
  11. What is the age of the perspective father? (The father’s age can create it’s own set of challenges)
  12. Have we done a sperm count?
  13. Am I tracking my period?
  14. Do I have counterproductive sexual habits like standing up immediately after lovemaking?
  15. Am I getting enough sleep? (No one gets as much as they want, but about 7-8 hours per day)
  16. What stressors can I reduce or cut out of my daily life that might be hindering fertility?
  17. When do the women in my bloodline tend to go through menopause?
  18. How driven am I to have a baby? Is it something I want, but am ok either way with? Or am I driven to the brink of insanity wanting a baby NOW?
  19. Am I happy with other option, such as adoption? Is my spouse?

 

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Now, What to Do With the List

Take some time to think it over as you need to and at times you’ll need to research to answer the question (like medication side effects).

Answer the questions honestly and objectively. No one will see them but you unless you show them, though you should talk these over with your partner as you discuss your options.

Some of these questions merely mean you are going to have to change your lifestyle a bit if you want to try to get pregnant “naturally” with no “planned intercourse” or doctor’s guidance.

Some of these questions are designed to call your attention to whether or not you will NEED medical assistance to get pregnant. For example: If you have a sexually transmitted disease or if you need to change a medication you’re on.

The final two questions are to help you decide the urgency of your desire to determine next steps. If you are very driven to conceive, you may need to talk to a specialist.

 

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Make a Strategy: Sample with My Situation

Now that we have all of this information, it may take a while to puzzle out exactly how you’re feeling and what steps you are willing to take.

Start right away with the needs in your own health as you decide your next steps, consulting a doctor as necessary.

 

 

 

After answering the printed comprehensive list, here’s how I’ve mapped my strategy:

 

Things in My Favor:

1. I have had good health my entire life. Not “great” health. I’m not a runner. However, no major problems.

2. My family also has strong genetics and overall pretty good health.

3. Later life babies aren’t uncommon in my family. My great grandmother gave birth to my grandma at age 41, which was really pretty late back in those days.

4. I don’t smoke and have never smoked cigarettes (barring that one puff I tried in high school and decided it wasn’t for me).

5. I’ve never used illegal drugs like cocaine, pills, etc.

6. I’ve never been a heavy drinker.

7. I have a reliable menstrual cycle, no skips and usually about the same time.

8. Late babies are getting more common and are on the rise. Now, if you look at the specific statistics, sometimes they aren’t that great, but it’s still a growing trend.

9. I’m not “obsessed” with this. My husband and I are both OK with adopting if that were to become our only option down the road.

 

Things Not in My Favor:

1. I am overweight. I really need to lose about 20 pounds and I could lose as much as 50 and still be healthy. While BBW’s get pregnant all the time and have healthy beautiful babies, it’s still something that would be healthier and raise my chances of getting pregnant overall.

2. I am over 40 and we are now in a time sensitive situation. I have to remain aware of that and make a decision how important a biological child is to me and if it is worth the effort and cost of fertility treatments or the use of natural enhancement methods.

3. My diet is not that great and I don’t take any sort of vitamins.

4. I don’t exercise.

Strategy:

  • Right now I’m going to focus on getting married and my honeymoon. I’m not going to frantically check my cycle, but I’m going to be aware of it. I’ll download an app to actually track my cycle, because I really don’t want to be on it for my wedding or honeymoon.
  • Pray about it, not in a begging or desires of my heart way, but a “leave it in God’s hands” way. This is the gist of what I’m praying: Lord, thank you so much for the blessing of my husband and of family. You know where I’ve been in the past on this subject and you know that things have changed in such a wonderful, blessed way. You know I’m nervous about all of this, because it’s new territory, but I also know you know me and I trust your decision. You know if I can handle being a mom and if I can be an acceptable one. You know it would mean a lot to the whole family, but ultimately I trust Your will in this. If this can happen, then I am ready. 
  • Eat healthier. Period. I’m not dieting because it’s stressful, but I am trying to make it a point to eat fruits and vegetables every day and add more of these to the recipes that I cook.
  • Walk at least 1/2 hour – 1 hour every day. I’m horribly out of shape and get tired easily anyway.
  • Not starting any fertility treatments or tests at this time with a specialist.
  • Not timing out my period/fertility cycle with intercourse frequency. I.e. I don’t want to start “scheduling sex” at this point. Nor am I going to use an ovulation predictor or any over the counter thing.
  • More snuggle time after lovemaking.
  • Start taking a multivitamin. They even have gummy ones now to make it less miserable.

Overall, my strategy is very casual. We’ll see where it goes…

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